Is there any possibility to talk to a professional therapist, because she or he can explain to you the reason why you are thinking like this. They will help you and will guide you. Wishing you to feel better. God bless you.

thank you so much for writing back to me, now that i have read about other people who posted in here i see that there are many people that are stuck also like me. my case or story is all circumstional that had let me to this. i am grieving the loss of my family members that i haven't seen for over 20 years my father, mother and beloved brother, my divorce after 27 years of marriage, there is a cycle in my life that is chosen from the heavens i guess and that is being alone. the cycle happened again by my son my moving out to another city, and my daughter will soon do the same. i feel alone yet there is a big shining star in my heart that keeps me going. wow i said a lot now. as for a therapist i am desperate to see one, but there hourly rate is so high and i can't afford it. i keep telling my dr my physican that i need help but nothing is happening. thank you and my God bless you too.

Hi there jjy.

I have been struggling with kleptomania for more than twenty years. I have been in recovery for nearly six months now, which doesn't

seem like much but when you're living day by day it's an impressive number.

I could NEVER have done it without these three components:
1) INTENSIVE counseling. I'm talking at least once a week, counselor on speed dial, counseling. You need to go into it with the policy of

complete honesty and the willingness to work very hard and get into recovery. A counselor is bound by law to keep anything you tell

him confidential, so anything you tell him stays between you. That will allow you to be completely honest and give your counselor all

the information that he needs to help you.

You do not have to find a counselor that specializes in kleptomania, although that would obviously be most beneficial. You can find

someone that deals with addictive behavior, or someone that specializes in stress and anxiety disorders.

As far as payment goes, I have this to offer: Many churches have some sort of program set up to help their members get counseling. If

there is a church like this in your area, contact them and ask for help. If there are no such churches, talk to your

minister/priest/clergyman and ask him to counsel you. Again, anything that you tell clergy is CONFIDENTIAL (unless you tell him that

you are planning on harming yourself or others).

Counseling is by FAR the most important aspect of recovery. I can not emphasize enough how important it is that you get into some

sort of therapy. If none of my solutions work, send me a message and I'll try and offer more suggestions.

2) The second essential aspect of recovery from kleptomania is to have a support group. This is not something that you can do on your

own (at least not for long), and having people to whom you can turn in a pinch is more valuable than I can describe.

This is, without a doubt, the hardest part of the recovery process. Kleptomania is a very secretive disorder, and very poorly understood, and asking for help involves confessing to someone that you have been not only breaking the law (because that's just part of it). Our society, in general, does not understand kleptomania or those of us who struggle with it. We are fine with drug addictions, alcoholism, smokers, compulsive gamblers, hoarders, eatting disorders...but put a kleptomania sufferer in front of us and it's all, "Whoa, you're a WHAT?"

But you have to have support! Choose three or four (or more or less) people who you trust, and wh have proven themselves to be trustworthy when it comes to not gossiping or sharing secrets. This is not the time to worry about hurt feelings. Don't ask your sister to be in your support group just because you've always been close. If she can't keep a secret, find someone else.

Sit down with the people that you have chosen, either one at a time or all together. In my case, I talked to my husband first, and then he and I sat down with three other people. Your support group needs to know a few things up front. a) What is going on with you. In my case, I confessed that I had been struggling with this for more than two decades, and I have never gone more than a week without stealing. b) What you need from them. This will vary from person to person, but at first it will probably be someone to go shopping with you, and to check up on you and hold you accountable. My sister still texts me several times a day to make sure that I am abe to resist temptation. For me, it's helpful to know that if I give in and steal something, she will be calling in a few hours and I will have let her down. As time goes on, though, you may find that all you need is a person to call when you are feeling weak. Let your support group know that they are free to ask any questions, and try to be honest with them, too. (Side note: If you have a pending legal case, let your support group know that you can't tell them everything just yet, because they can be called to testify against you.)

Like I said, this is by far and away the hardest part of your recovery process. You have to bare your soul, and confessing this kind of things to people that you love, and possibly losing their trust, is terrifying. But take it one step at a time, ask them for patience, and remeber that you are taking a big step to improve your life!

3) The third thing that I needed for recovery was my faith. This was actually a bit of a struggle for me, too. I thought that as soon as I stopped stealing I would be closer to God, but it didn't turn out that way at all. In fact, I felt like He was becoming more and more distant. (This was eventually resolved, but the struggle is so personal that I don't feel comfortable sharing yet.)

But I can say for certain that without faith my recovery would have been much, much more difficult. I needed to have the assurance that God was the only one that could judge me (besides a judge, of course), and that no matter what, I knew that He did not see me as this thief, He saw me as His daughter.

I sort of minimized this aspect, I admit, because I do not know if you are a Christian, and I do not want you to disregard everything else that I have said previously. :)

One last thing that I need to say:

I have noticed, through the course of my recovery, that the times when I am the weakest and most steal-y is when I am, or feel like I am, out of control of my life. My kleptomania manifested when I was five, and I was put through a situation that was traumatizing for a child. I have observed that over the course of my life, my worst episodes were when I was going through trauma. I started a new school in a new town, BAM! I ramped up the stealing. My parents moved us to a different country, BAM! I ramped up the stealing. My marriage started to fail, BAM! I ramped up the stealing.

This means that you HAVE TO BE ON ALERT. It sound like there is a lot going on in your life right now, and the last thing that you need is the guilt that theft causes.

And to end on a positive note: Kleptomania is not who you are. You are not defined by your struggles.

I hope this helps you. I check back every so often, and I am here for you.

God bless,
Aynne

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid: do noy be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

Hi jjy, I'm so glad that you responded!

A few things struck me about what you said.

The thing about kleptomania (and I think probably any addictive behavior, but I don't know for sure) is that you will absolutely not get it under control unless you make a concentrated effort to try. Counseling is most definitely the first step, but it also takes a HUGE amount of willpower and belief in yourself. Having faith is certainly a factor-you know that you have someone else to rely on, who won't judge you for the sins that you make as long as you seek His forgiveness.

Also, I'm so glad that you found a counselor that you can start seeing! He or she will probably have to do some research on kleptomania-it's not a common disorder-to tell you if he or she can treat you and to make sure that he or she knows what it is. When I started counseling my therapist was not at all sure that she was the one for me. But I went in with a mind for getting this under control, and with her help, and a support group, and God's guidance, I have been successful so far.

Here's something else that you may not have considered: There are two major differences between kleptomania and alcoholism or drug addiction. With alcohol, the substance itself is inherently addictive. Drugs too. But with kleptomania, it's our brains that do the addicting. That means that in a way, it is easier to fight. On the other hand, alcohol is just what's in the bottle. (Not to discount the struggle that alcoholics face, by any means!) Things to steal can be found any place, any time. You can tell your friend that you are alcoholic, and to hide the liquor. But it's a little bit harder to say, "Get rid of anything I can steal," especially since with kleptomania the objects are often things that don't have a whole lot of dollar value.

Another MAJOR part of kleptomania is the thrill. After I stopped stealing, it took me more than four months before I felt actually happy again. Contrary to what I would have believed, bettering myself (giving up stealing) actually pushed me into depression! I thought that I would feel better about myself, more self confident and whole, when I stopped stealing. Instead, I considered suicide for the first time in my life.

But you can't let that stop you! Talk to your therapist (I prefer the term counselor, it seems less clinical), and make sure that he knows how you're feeling. He has all the tools that you need, and can work with you on a much more personal basis.

I hope that this has helped. Good luck with counseling, and I hope it works!
Aynne

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9